Bad First Impressions
by cembria
Summary: Eric and Sookie realize the true meaning of family after they meet in an unexpected way causing them both to evaluate their lives. One shot AH/AU You all know I love humor in my writing so get ready for the lulz.


_Just a one shot I wrote while I couldn't sleep. New chapters for all of my other stories are coning this week so get ready for some awesome stuffz! _

_**E-POV**_

I hate this place, it's hot a fucking muggy all the time, I have a permanent case of swamp ass and I hate it. I want to go back to Sweden but I know I have to be here. My best friend Pam opened a bar here in Louisiana about three years ago, about 2 years ago she called me and told me she was pregnant and needed help. So what did I do? I tied up all of my loose ends in Sweden and moved to this hell hole to help my best buddy run her bar. Well the original plan was that I would just stay until the baby was born, but I got attached to the feeling of having family and that is how I ended up sitting in the back yard of the house I own with Pam watching her daughter Felicia play in her sand box.

"Lish, don't eat the sand!" I said, as I brushed the sand off of her face and hands picking her up and deciding it was a good time to get out before she starts shitting gravel.

"Mama!" She yelled as I picked her up to go back inside.

"No, not Mamma, Eric." I corrected as I pulled her up to me.

"Mama." She sighed into my chest as she laid a sleepy head on me. I rolled my eyes and kissed her head, convinced that she will be 13 and still calling me Mama. I groaned internally knowing that I could never leave her and Pam now. I carried her up to her room and laid her in her bed, then I took off her little shoes and socks before I handed her, her favorite toy, a vampire stuffed animal she calls her piper. I kiss her again and grab the monitor before I walk down stairs to get some work done.

Pam's mother died last week and she had to go deal with the estate, we both decided that international flying with an 18 month old was a bad idea so it is just me and Felicia for the next nine days. Not that I mind, it is just hard doing it all alone, which makes me even happier with my decision to stay and help Pam permanently; even if this place is a sweaty ass hole.

I had just sat down at my desk before I could see a woman in the security monitor standing at the front door; she stood there for a few minutes looking like she was going to ring the bell a few times before she finally did. I saw the little red light go off indicating that see had rung the bell finally (no noise bell insure that the baby never gets woken up by deliveries) I got up and walked to the door and opened it but what I was greeted by on the other side blew my mind.

Standing on my front porch was a short blond woman with long blond hair, big sparkling blue eyes and curves in all the right places. She was wearing yoga pants that were so tight they should have been considered criminal and a sports bra that could barely contain her glorious bounty. When I finally was able to rein in my eye fucking I said.

"Hey how can I help you?" I asked lying on my best panty dropping smile.

"Umm, I was running with my dog and the leash broke and he ran into your back yard, which by the way your latch is broken. I didn't feel right just going back there so can I go get my dog?" She asked with a sheepish smile.

"Umm ya no problem, come on in I'll walk you back." I smiled again steeping back so she could come in. My mind and body took the liberty of getting a little too excited at the prospect of having this goddess inside of my home. We walked to the back of the house and out the sliding glass door, as soon as it was open the woman called.

"Sam!" Then I saw what can only be described as more of a horse than a dog running up to her. He was the biggest Mastiff I had ever seen and I'm pretty sure he weighs more than the woman does.

"That is a big ass dog." I stated, she laughed putting a new leash on him and said.

"Ya he was my brothers, but he couldn't take him when he moved so now I have him."

"So do you live nearby?" I asked. "Oh and my name is Eric by the way." I extended a hand to her.

"I'm Sookie, and yes I live across the street in my brother's old house." She took my hand and shook it, her hand was tiny and soft, I couldn't believe that Jason Stackhouse had a hot sister.

"Your Jason's sister?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir. He moved to California because "they have better tail there"." She said using air quotes and a silly mocking voice for the last part.

"Sounds like him." I nodded as we walked back inside together. She stopped and looked up at me before saying.

"You know my brother?" I sighed and thought. _Oh ya I know your brother… his daughter is asleep right upstairs._

"Umm ya." She stopped cold cocking her hip and planting her hand on it before saying.

"How did you know my brother? You don't seem happy with him. What the hell did he do? I swear I'm going to kill him! He runs off abandoning his house and his dog two years ago and now I have to live in his house because I can't afford the overhead, I haven't heard from him in 10 months…" She is officially freaking out now, she is starting to cry and she is shaking so I cut her off rubbing my hands up and down her arms trying to sooth her before I say.

"My best friend and roommate knew him _very _well." Just then Felicia starts to cry and Sookie has a look of horror on her face I just turn to her and say.

"Wait here for one minute." I run up stairs quickly, grab Lish from her crib and head down stairs. I walk up to Sookie turning Felicia around knowing she is the spitting image of Jason. When Sookie takes her in she just collapses to the floor and sobs. I set Felicia down and sit next to her.

"Puppy!" Felicia screams as she totters over to Sam and flops on top of him laughing. We both can't help but smile at her when she continues.

"Mama, Puppy!" She yells pointing Sam out to me. I laugh and say.

"Not Mama, Eric, and yes I see the puppy. His name is Sam." She instantly frowns and says.

"NO! Puppy!" I sigh and say.

"Fine, you can call him puppy." She smiles again and starts to give him the most awkward pet's I have ever witnessed. I turned to Sookie who was staring numbly at nothing before she turned to me and said.

"He ran from his baby? I didn't even know I had a niece, and if Sam hadn't have gotten away I may never have known. I don't want to sound like a b.i.t.c.h but she is better off without him." I just nodded patting her hand before I said.

"That's why Pam never pursued him. He actually signed over his parental rights about 8 months ago." Sookie looked up sadly at Felicia and said.

"Oh Okay." She looked heartbroken, I know Pam would want her to be able to be involved in Felicia's life, and we just never knew she existed before today.

"I want to give you Pam's number, she is out of town for the next 9 days but your family to her and if you want I'm sure she wouldn't mind you taking up your role as Aunt." Sookies eyes welled up as she said.

"Please?" I got up grabbing the phone calling Pam.

"What the fuck Eric, it's 4am!" Pam always did have the best phone manners.

"Pamela did you know Jason has a sister and that she is not an idiot?" I say looking at Sookie as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"No…" Pam says in a more attentive voice.

"Yes well she is in our living room and Felicia is manhandling her dog that seems to be in love with her." I look over at Felicia who is being nuzzled by the small horse.

"Does she want to spend time with her?" Pam asked.

"Here let me give her the phone." I hand the phone to Sookie who takes it. I can only hear her side of the conversation but that doesn't stop me from listening.

"_Hi Pam, I am so sorry about my brother he was raised better than that."_

_ "No, no I am sorry and I'm angry that I have a niece and I have already wasted so much time."_

_ "He's a mastiff."_

_ "I'm living in Jason's house; it used to belong to our parents."_

_ "I used to live in my Grans old farm house but I sold off the land and lived in an apartment before Jason asked me to watch the house."_

_ "Umm, no I don't think he is coming back."_

_ "No. no I agree he should be nowhere near her, he will just break her heart." _

_ "Umm yes Eric is very nice."_ She giggled and put her back to me then whispered.

"_Yes he is good looking… no ,no I'm not seeing anyone."_

_ "OH MY GOD PAM!" _Sookie looked stunned before she handed the phone back to me.

"Pam?" I asked still staring at Sookie who has now turned 12 different shades of red, no doubt at some highly inappropriate comment made by Pam.

"Oh Eric I like her, what does she look like?" I rolled my eyes and switched to Swedish.

"She is the most stunning creature I have ever seen, I was planning on asking her out and fucking her until I found out who she was, now that is not an option because I don't want to compromise anything for Felicia." I could practically hear Pam rolling her eyes before she spoke.

"Eric, if you want to fuck her fuck her! You haven't slept with anyone since Felicia was born, that's not healthy." I sighed and said.

"Pam, I don't want to bring just any floozy around her, I want to be a good role model so she won't date men who act like how I used to act."

"Whatever, you do what you want but if you get cranky I will knock you both out strip you naked and lock you two in the basement until you fuck each other to my standards."

"Pam, You haven't even met her yet. You don't know what she is going to be like."

"I can just tell… I have a feeling about her and it is good."

"Fine, I'll let you go get some rest."

"Goodnight Eric, enjoy your hand." And with that she hung up. That bitch I don't know why I put up with her shit. I walked back into the room and saw Sookie twirling around with Felicia in her arms. _Oh ya, that's why I put up with Pam._

_**Felicia's 3**__**rd**__** Birthday**_

"Sookie, she is turning 3… she won't even remember this." I said as Sookie was painstakingly piping a ridiculously detailed image of Blue onto the cake, which will be destroyed in about 12 minutes.

"Do you want this done or do you want it done right?" She said as she cocked her hip placing her hand on it and wiping a strand of hair away from her face smearing a tiny bit of icing on her cheek that I wanted nothing more than to lick off.

"Okay, you do it your way, but Pam wants to cut the cake in 11 minutes." Pam was stickler for timelines.

"Oh Sugar, we were always going to do this my way no matter what you said." She winked at me and went back to work. I had to leave the room before I go back on the promise I made to myself over a year ago. I have kept my promise, I have not dated nor fucked Sookie… no instead I fell in love with her. I went into my study and sat on the couch laying my head in my hands, thinking about how I am going to die alone with a hundred cats because the woman I love I can never have. The thought of even being with another woman is revolting.

"Mama Eric, why are you sad?" I looked up and I saw my little cherub approaching me. She climbed into my lap and I said.

"I'm not sad, it's your birthday I'm very happy." She frowned at me and said.

"Don't lie! If I don't get to lie then you don't either." Wow this kid is fucking perceptive.

"I'm not lying." _I was lying._

"Yes you are, you're sad because you love Aunt Sookie." She started to sniffle and it was breaking my heart, how the hell did she know this? "I heard Mommy talking to her lespian friend Melia and she said that Aunt Sookie and you love each other but won't just potty word already." I'm going to punch Pam in the throat. "Aunt Sookie is crying in the kitchen saying "It's better for Felicia" over and over. You two are sad because of me." She let out a loud hysterical sob before screaming. "It's all my fault! You're going to get too sad and leave me like my daddy left!"

I knew this would be an issue one day, I just didn't think it would be so soon. She was asking questions about her Dad after she asked why I wasn't her Daddy. We explained as best we could, but Pam is a little bitter and used the phrase "He abandoned us." And "He ran away." None of these things set well with her and she has been throwing tantrums every time one of us left ever since. It even got so bad that Sookie had to start sleeping over because Felicia would scream by the door until she came back.

"Baby Doll no one is going to leave you." Sookie, Pam and Amelia came running in when they heard her pained sobs.

"What the fuck happened Eric!" Pam yelled, picking up a trembling crying Felicia from my arms.

"Mama Eric and… _sniff _Aunt Sookie… _sob _are sad because they…CAN'T LOVE EACHOTHER AND IT'S MY FAULT AND THEY ARE GOING TO LEAVE ME BECAUSE THEY GET TOO SAD!" Felicia pushed out of Pam's arms and back to mine, Sookie comes and stands next to her and says.

"Baby, it's not your fault… it's just not what's best." Sookie managed to choke out trying not to cry herself.

"You're wrong!" She yelled, grabbing Sookie and pressing the three of us together. My eyes drifted up to meet Sookies and I saw the same love for me that I have for her reflected in her eyes. _Was this really what's best? Is this course of action making it worse? _

"See you love each other! Kiss and say I love you." I was still staring at Sookie, I felt like my soul was on display for her. Then I felt a tiny hand on the back of my head pushing me towards Sookie and I could see the other tiny hand pushing Sookie to me. There was no turning back now. Our lips locked and I felt like a million volts of electricity were coursing through my body… this was right, this was the best. We broke the kiss and pressed our foreheads together.

"Mama Eric, put me down and say I love you." I set her down, and continued to look at Sookie.

"SAY I LOVE YOU NOW!" Felicia screamed stomping her foot. I rolled my eyes, Sookie, Pam and Amelia laughed at her tantrum. I leaned in and cupped Sookies face and whispered.

"I love you." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, laying her hand over my heart and said.

"I love you too." I laid another soft kiss on her lips, but I had to pull away when I felt a tug at my pants.

"Mama Eric, I feel better now and I want cake and you know I can't have cake until after the song Mommy say's." I laughed and said.

"Okay let's go get you some cake."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" was all we heard as the mini match maker fled the room filled with glee at the prospect of blue cake that will no doubt end up all over the dog and the furniture no matter how careful we are.

We all went to the dining room that was covered in every single Blue's Clues item that the party store had. Sookie and Pam came back into the room to greet the bouncing clapping child with her cake with 4 candles perched on top (3 for her birth years and one for good luck). We sang happy birthday to her and she blew out her candles and vibrated in her seat until she was served her cake. As I suspected there was blue shit everywhere later that night as we were cleaning up. A moist little angel fresh from the shower approached me wearing her new Blue's Clues night gown (a gift from me, it was a hit).

"Mommy told me to tell you that it is okay for you and Aunt Sookie to have grown up time at Aunt Sookies house." I shook my head and laughed at Pam's candor with her child.

"Okay, we will see you in the morning?" she shook her head and said.

"Mommy said it is unlikely, she said you two need too potty word like bunnies and I will see you on Sunday when we go to the movies for our Man time."I smiled and winked saying.

"Sounds like a plan Baby Doll. Do you want me to tuck you in?" I asked.

"No thanks, I'm sleeping in Mommies bed tonight." I smiled again as I kissed her and sent her upstairs. Pam hates sharing her bed with Felicia because she kicks in her sleep. Pam must be very committed to Sookie and I having sex. I walked into the kitchen to find Sookie, I walked up behind her wrapping my arms around her waist, and I was filled with excitement when she leaned into my embrace. I leaned down to her ear and whispered.

"I meant it, I love you." She turned around with the biggest smile and said.

"I love you too, I have been in love with you for a long time, and I think it was about a year ago when I realized it… it was…"

"The night in Disney Land?" I interrupted her, we all took Felicia to Disney Land and Sookie got really sick and I stayed with her in the hotel and took care of her.

"Ya, that was the night." She choked out, crushing me in another hug. It was our first night there and Sookie had been a little off the whole flight but as soon as we got to the hotel she collapsed, I carried her up to what became our room and we found out she had a rockin' flu and was running a fever of 104 degrees. I laid behind her rubbing her neck and back with a cool wash cloth all night and snuggled her to make her feel better.

"We got the green light from Felicia to spend the next two days alone at your house." I said as a bent down and nuzzled her neck placing small kisses on the flesh that I have so deeply desired for so long.

"We're going to need to think of something to do." She said as she ran her warm tiny hands up the back of my shirt tracing the lines of the muscles in my back.

"I have some ideas." I said as I scooped her up shouting a goodbye to the others before I took her across the street and showed her just how much I love her for the next two days… and the rest of our lives.

_**Kindergarten first day of school**_

Sookie and I walked out of her house and across the street to see Felicia off to her first day of school. I have spent every night at Sookies ever since Felicia's 3rd birthday. Sookie and I decided it was time for me to just move all of my stuff over… not that there is much left at Pam's house anyway. When I think of going home at night if I was working at the club, I think of going home to Sookie, we call it our bedroom and our bed… so really it is not that much of a stretch. I'm just a little concerned about Felicia's reaction, Sookie says I'm worrying for nothing but I think I have good reason to worry about my Baby Doll's reaction, I don't want her to feel abandoned.

"Eric are you walking me to the bus stop?" Felicia screamed, from the open front door. She knows better than to walk out the front door unaccompanied… I have taught her well. She also doesn't call me Mama Eric anymore unless she wants something… But like the sucker that I am I fall for it every time.

"Yes we are, let's go inside Aunt Sookie and I want to talk with you." She shrugged her shoulders and walked to the couch and flopped down. Sookie and I followed and Pam and Amelia also joined.

"We have something important to tell you." I looked at Sookie and smiled as she took a drink of the juice Pam brought her.

"Did you get Sookie pregnant?" I gasped and Sookie choked on her juice spitting it all over the place, I rubbed her back as she coughed.

"No, Baby Doll Sookie is not pregnant." I said never taking my eyes off of Sookie who was still sputtering.

"Why? Mommy and Amelia say it is only a matter of time because you two potty word every time a room clears." Seriously one of these days I am really going to punch Pam in the throat… it is becoming less and less of an empty threat. I looked at Sookie who appeared to be in deep thought with her arms over her stomach… I think she wants a baby, I will file that away for later, I need to get the ring I bought on her finger then I can get her as pregnant as I want; at least we're on the same page.

"Fine, whatever; what's the news?"

"I'm going to move into Sookies house and it will become our house." She looked at me and rolled her eyes in a very Pam way before she said.

"That's it? Really, you have lived there for years all of your stuff is there. You only come here to use the office. I honestly already thought you lived there." She looked at Pam and said. "Mom I think they were the only ones who didn't get the memo." And there is the snark, this child is going to be a nightmare as a teenager, she is just like Pam and I knew teenage Pam… I couldn't help but shutter at the thought of my little Baby Doll doing half the things I witnessed Pam do.

"I told you she wouldn't be upset." Sookie said as she cleaned up the split juice.

"Hey Eric, Amelia is living here now, Mom's a lesbian and you and Sookie should really get married… is that all the news he needs to be caught up on Mom?" Pam and Amelia are rolling at this point, I have the most shocked look on my face and Sookie is burying her face in my chest laughing.

"Yes Felicia, I believe that catches him up to speed." Pam said gathering her school books.

"Okay let's go, Mama Eric… carry my bag?" I rolled my eyes as I stood up, giving her a kiss on the top of the head I took her bag and her hand, Pam took the other hand and our odd little family all walked hand in hand to drop our communal child off at the bus stop for her first day of school. I looked over at Sookie and I knew what I was going to do tonight… Tonight she gets the ring I bought for her while we were in Disney Land all those years ago, before she was even mine… I guess she always was.

_**Sookie and Eric's wedding**_

**S-POV**

"Pam, It's too tight! How fat have I gotten?" I yelled as Pam tried to lace up my wedding dress.

"It's not as bad as you think! I will loosen the bodice, it could be worse you could be on your period." I scoffed; I haven't had my period in… Oh shit before Halloween.

"Sookie you look like you're going to vomit." I looked at her wide eyed and said.

"Pam I haven't had my period since before Halloween!" Felicia started jumping up and down screaming.

"Sookie are you pregnant? I want a cousin!" I started to hyperventilate.

"Oh my god I am, I have been so caught up in the wedding I didn't even notice! I'm like those women from _I didn't know I was pregnant_! My baby is going to have flippers with the amount of coffee I drink!" Amelia ran out of the room and Pam rubbed my back trying to get me to calm down, I did not see Felicia leave the room but she came back dragging in a very worried looking Eric, who was all dressed in his suit and looking yummy.

"Sookie what's wrong?" He asked, as he rubbed my hands just the way I like.

"I think I'm pregnant and not a little pregnant I think I have been since October and I was too stupid to notice." I cried, thinking of all the damage I could have been doing to our baby with my carelessness… At least I haven't been drinking or smoking, I have that.

"Shit." Eric muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"You had Strep right before Halloween and I think antibiotics void the pill."

"Oh your right, that has to be when it happened. Are you mad?" I asked feeling very worried.

"No Lover, I'm ecstatic! I think we should cancel the honeymoon and make you a doctor's appointment but other than that I am jazzed… I'm going to be a Daddy." He said wistfully placing his hand on the tiny bump on my tummy.

"Mommy how did Aunt Sookie and Eric make a baby?" Felicia asked Pam.

"Eric put his penis in Sookies vagina and they engaged in a sex act until they both climaxed and he blew his load in her allowing his sperm to fertilize one of her eggs." Eric and I both looked horrified at the way she explained where babies come from to a 6 year old.

"Eric, what's a penis." Felicia asked looking Eric square in the eye. He just stood up and said.

"I'm out, Sookie I will see you at the altar." And with that he walked out without looking Felicia in the eye again.

"Mommy?" She asked Pam.

"Come look at Mommies phone, I'll pull up a diagram." I stared wide eyed at Pam.

"Don't you look at me that way Sookie Northman! I will never lie to my child even if it makes me uncomfortable." I nodded still stunned, that not only am I pregnant… about 4 months or so but also I just witnessed the most blunt answer to the question "where do baby's come from?" that has ever graced the planet. I also couldn't help but smile at the use of my married name… Sookie Northman.

_**Sookie 7 months pregnant**_

**E-POV**

"Go away Eric! I will rub Aunt Sookies back… this is our girl time you're not even supposed to be here!" I narrowed my eyes at the child who is rubbing my pregnant wife's back and making me seethe with jealousy. Okay so maybe over the last few months I have become a little possessive of Sookie, but seeing her swell with our child just makes me want to care for, protect and provide for her. As her Husband, I want to be the one proving her back rub.

"Eric, go to your office, Sookie will not disappear if you let us have some girl time." Pam said, I huffed and got up to go to my office.

"Eric, kissys before you go." Sookie said, lifting her face for me to kiss. I knelt down beside her and brushed some hair out of her face and laid my hand on the stomach before I gave her a very tender kiss. Our kiss was broken by a very surly 7 year old that pushed me on my ass and said.

"I want to watch legally blond! Get the hell out so our girl's night can start!" I got up and put her in a head lock mussing her head. I said.

"You're just like your Mother!" Over her screams, I released her and walked out but not before I heard.

"Fucking jerk." Just as I was going to turn around I heard Pam scolded her.

"Hey! Watch your Fucking mouth!" It really is funny, Pam curses like a sailor but will not allow Felicia to do it. In fact most of their fights revolve around that particular issue. I took one more look at my very pregnant wife lying on the floor in nothing but her bra and panties (because of the heat) being fed pop corn by her very doting little niece… She has never looked more beautiful to me than in that moment, but I'm sure the next time I see her I will feel the exact same way again… I always do.

_**Ballet recital/ labor and delivery**_

**E-POV **

"You're going to do great Baby Doll!" I told Felicia, as Sookie and Pam helped her into her tutu.

"Eric I'm so nervous… what if I mess up? This is my first solo ever." I pulled her tight to me and said.

"You will be perfect, you and Amelia have been practicing for months, and you are going to blow their socks off." She looked at me before she buried her face in my chest murmuring so low I would not have been able to make it out if I had not leaned my head down.

"Thanks Dad." My heart broke a little bit for her just then, more and more over the last few years we have caught her secretly calling me Dad, we know she craves a father figure and I am really the only Dad she has ever known. I have to say I am more than honored to be her fantasy Dad… considering I have always looked at her as a daughter.

"What baby?" I asked pulling her away from me, pretending I didn't hear her, but I can tell from Pam and Sookies pained faces that they know exactly what she said.

"I said thanks Eric." I smiled and gave her a kiss on the head before saying.

"Your welcome, now go get em' tiger." She rolled her eyes and said.

"Your such a nerd!"

"Ooooh." Sookie said clutching her side.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

"Are having the baby?" All of the questions poured from us all at once.

"No I'm fine; the baby just didn't like something I ate." She smiled, but I wasn't buying it. But just as I was about to press further Amelia ran around the corner saying it was show time and shooing us to our seats. We obliged, I helped a very pregnant Sookie down the stairs because she can't see her shoes let alone the stairs below her as we made it to the front row to take our seats.

The lights dimmed and we took our seats, the music started and Felicia glided out onto the stage. She twirled and spun with grace and ease… she looked like an angel. Before she went into her last spin she winked at me and smiled before she got up on one toe and started to spin impossibly fast. Finally the music ended and we all stood and applauded with tears in our eyes. I was staring a Felicia, who jumped off the stage and rushed over… I'm pretty sure that was not how that was supposed to go. I was confused until I looked over and saw her rubbing Sookies stomach and standing in massive puddle at her feet. Well shit.

"That little prick is stealing my thunder already!" Felicia said with a laugh as she pressed a kiss onto Sookies stomach. I was in shock… until this very moment I had not felt fear, I have been nervous, overprotective or excited, but right now I was terrified. Sookie looked completely calm and said.

"I don't think my shoes will come back from this." Pam laughed, and I continued to stand still as a statue unable to think of what to do next. All of the scenarios for Sookie going into labor that I ran in my head had her starting at home, in the bar or at Pam's… at Felicia's ballet recital was not in my play book. Sookie cleared her throat to get my attention and said.

"Eric, I don't know if you had plans for the rest of the day but I think now would be a good time to go to the hospital to have the baby." I just nodded and said.

"Okay." I picked up her purse and helped her walk out of the building with everyone trailing behind. I helped her into the car and got behind the wheel, and just sat there. Sookie leaned over and pulled down my seatbelt buckling it for me like I was a child.

"Safety first Baby, we have shit to do today so let's go! Chop, chop."

I nodded and drove my wife to the hospital to give birth to our child…_ OUR CHILD_. Okay now I was less shocked and nervous and had crossed the line into deliriously excited. A giant grin spread over my face and when I parked and went around helping Sookie out she said.

"See now you're on board, just took you a second." We both laughed and went inside, closely followed by our posse.

Our daughter was born at 5:46pm weighing 6lbs 9oz, Adel Pamela Northman had me wrapped around her little finger before her shoulders were even out.

_**Tattle tales**_

**E-POV**

"Daddy?"

"Yes Princess?" I said looking up from the papers on my desk.

"Why does Felicia get to have boys in her room, but Barry and I can't even go upstairs?" I frowned and pushed away from my desk and leaning down to her level.

"First, Barry is not allowed in your room as a matter of principal set for later in life so I can avoid a lengthy prison sentence. Second, Felicia is not allowed to have boys in her room, especially when Pam is out of town. Now why are you asking this?"Knowing full well that I was about to kick Felicia's door in and send her and whatever boy she is seducing this week downstairs to play with Adel… Adel is a cockblock extraordinaire, I should know because she has been perfecting her technique on me for the last 5 and a half years.

"Because they are upstairs playing their music all loud and my Barbie's don't like techno." I chuckled and shook my head; her Barbies don't like anything other than the lion king sound track on repeat.

"Go bring your dolls down stairs Princess Daddy is going to go get you some playmates." She squealed and ran to get her things while clapping her hands. I made a quick outfit change into my black boots; black cargo pants and an obscenely tight razor back black tank top. If anything having a child has gotten me into better shape because of the constant lifting… fuck weights, I had a baby! I made the clothing change, because a white shirt that says 'Property of Sookie Northman", blue basketball shorts and slippers hardly strikes fear into the souls of 13 year old boys.

I walked up stairs on a mission; I like to pride myself on being stealthy. I have terrified Sookie on many occasions with my ability to move silently among the shadows, I'm like a motherfucking Vampire! I walked up to Felicia's door and gave a high five to Adel as she walked past before I flung the door open completely unannounced. I have to say I have never seen two people shoot away from each other quite so quickly. I stood in the door monopolizing the entire frame, crossing my arms and said.

"Felicia, have you forgotten the rules or did you think I would not find out you had…" I looked at the frightened boy waiting for him to give me his name.

"Ch…Ch… Chow Sir." The kid stuttered, If I wasn't trying to make a point I would have laughed. Felicia rolled her eyes.

"Chow in your room with the door shut, during the day, while I'm home and Adel shares a wall with you?" She let out a little growl and said.

"That traitorous bitch has no sense of loyalty, you know someday she will want something from me and I will not have forgotten these indiscretions."

"I'm sure, now go down stairs and play with Adel in the living room until dinner, Chow will be joining us. Sookie will be home soon."Chow started to speak.

"Oh umm Sir, I don't know if I can stay for…" Felicia cut him off.

"Chow it wasn't a request, he and my Aunt are going to interrogate you before sending a full report to my Mother and her wife who are on their honeymoon right now." The boy looked stunned at how abrupt she was, but I have to say… I trained her well, she argues on a lot of things but she can always tell when I mean business. Before I got out of ear shot I heard him say to her.

"Your Dad is scary." She replied with a smile in her voice.

"Yah, he is, isn't he?" I smiled as I walked down the stairs, very proud of my oldest daughter… Blood or not that's my baby girl.

_**The Northmans never learn**_

_**E-POV**_

"Baby, I'm horny!" Sookie whined, not that I'm complaining but she has been horny non-stop lately and Adel, Felicia, Pam or Amelia have all almost caught us lately… I know Pam's view on sex is it happens get over it but I don't want to scar my child. If I didn't know better I would think Sookie is pregnant again. But that can't be true because she is religious about her pill…. Fuck.

"Sookie, are you pregnant?" She looked up from tugging at my shirt and kissing my chest to hiss.

"Fucking Strep throat! This is the second time!" I had to laugh and Sookie quickly followed.

"This is your fault Mister, for not bagging it." She poked me in the chest playfully as she spoke.

"Oh I'm sorry I forgot to do something I haven't had to do in oh I don't know… 7 YEARS!" Sookie laughed again and said.

"Well I guess now is a good time, I'm getting old." I rolled my eyes.

"Sookie your 31, you're a spring chicken compared to me." She slapped me again and squawked.

"Eric your 35, are you telling me in 4 years I will be over the hill?" I schooled my face in a very serious manor before I said.

"Yes Sookie, 35 is my cut off. I will start interviews for new wives when you turn 34 so there is no delay." She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"You're a jerk, and I'm horny. Call Felicia and have her pick up Adel and ask her to watch her for the afternoon. Then call Pam and have her get me a piss stick… When you have finished your task I will be naked on the bed waiting for a good old fashioned fucking, I want it hard and fast and I want to come no less than 5 times… and yes that is a challenge."

I growled as she walked away, that woman drives me mad! Oh and I made good on her challenge… she came 6 times, just so I could prove a point.

_**PROM**_

**E-POV**

I was sitting at my computer working with my 3 year old son Russell sitting on my shoulders acting way too interested in the bar's payroll than a 3 year old should, when Felicia walked in… She wants something I can smell it; first: Pam is home and she walked over here unannounced, Second: her hair is in pig tails to give an air of innocence to her 17 year old frame, Third: she opened with this…

"Mamma Eric?"

"What do you want?" I said with a smile. Russ looked up from his dead lock on the computer to say hi before she answered.

"Umm, I was wondering if you could scary pants a guy who asked me to prom that I don't want to go with anymore." I looked confused, usually she yelled and screamed when I scared the boys away… this one must be bad if she can see it.

"What did he do?" she started to look guilty and I knew in that moment that it was not him that did something.

"I umm… I got a better offer." I squinted my eyes at her.

"From who?" I asked.

"Quinn…" She whispered out.

"No, you will go with Alcied. He is a nice boy and his Father works for me so he will be too afraid to do anything to you… Quinn is a tom cat and you will not be attending this event with him, end of story." She pushed out her bottom lip and balled her fists while she shook angrily… Just like her Mother, now I am tempted to punch her in the throat.

"You are so unfair and you agree with my Mom's on everything!" she shouted. I cocked an eyebrow and removed my son from his perch who was now watching this unfold like it was better than the WWE and sent him to go get Sookie for me.

"I'll tell you what; I will acquiesce to your request if you can convince Aunt Sookie." She looked at me with the face of pure terror, her eyes began to shift from side to side and she looked like she was starting to sweat. I leaned back in my chair and waited for Sookie. She walked in a few moments later with our Son on her hip, who was holding his HULK action figure and thumping it on Sookies shoulder. She handed him over to me and he was once again entranced with the financial forms sitting on my desk. I swear this kid is going to be an accountant. She sat on the chair next to my desk and said.

"What's up lady?" Felicia started to shift again before saying.

"I want Mama Eric to scare of Alcied so I can go to prom with a boy that I like better." Sookie squinted her eyes and I could see exactly where this was going.

"NO." It was a firm and final answer; I had to suppress my laugh. Felicia stomped her foot and let out a high pitched whine before crying.

"But that's not fair! How was I supposed to know Quinn would ask me?" Sookie stood up reached into Felicia's pocket, extracting her cell phone. I then saw her scrolling through it pushing some buttons before handing it back. Felicia looks horrified before she looks down at it. Her look of terror increases as she sees what Sookie has done.

"What did you do to this?" She cried, helplessly trying to repair her phone.

"I switched the language to Spanish after I deleted Quinn's number."

"I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH!" she yelled.

"I know, enjoy your punishment for being rude and ungrateful… Alcied deserves better than this and you know it. Now go back home, your Mother's are probably wondering where you are." She huffed and turned on her heel to leave.

"Oh Sookie that is hilarious… it will take her days maybe even weeks to figure out how to change that back." She turned and gave me and Russ a kiss, the picked up the phone to fill in Pam and Amelia on what just happened. Before they picked up she said.

"I know, I think it is better than just taking it away outright because now she has to just look at it and know she can't use it." We both laughed some more, before she relayed the story which ensued more laughter.

_**The Graduation Party**_

**E-POV**

I hate Felicia's friends. I clutched my son as we stood in the kitchen avoiding droves of 18 year old girls who are either hitting on me or pinching and smothering my mini me. I don't know why they do it; can they not see that I am a grown ass man with a wife and kids? Adel soon joined us and said.

"Daddy, Mama sent me to come get you. She said "Tell him to suck it up for a few more hours and be happy for Felicia." I think Felicia's friends are sluts." My eyes got wide at my little girls all too astute observation.

"Don't say slut." I said, grabbing a beer for me and a juice for my little man before heading back outside.

"Not even if it's true?" I thought for a moment before saying.

"Don't say it in front of your mother and only say it if it's true, and if you slip up in front of your Mom you're on your own."

"Cool." She said as she trotted off to go sit with Amelia and Pam. I sauntered over to Sookie giving her a very obvious kiss, trying to get all to see that I was taken and happy.

"Should I pee on you?" Sookie asked with a laugh.

"If you think it would help." I said with a dramatic shifty look. She laughed and I sat next to her. I looked across the yard at Felicia. I can't believe she is 18 and leaving for college in 10 weeks. The thought of her not being around all the time is unsettling at best. I love her she is my baby… well not my baby but I would never consider her as anything less than my own child. I watched her leave Pam's vagina for God's sake. I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about her growing up and becoming an adult, and that makes me think of Adel and Russ growing up and moving on… nope stop new train of thought.

I looked across the yard towards the back gate which was wide open for people to come in and out of. I saw a man who looked familiar but I couldn't place his face. It didn't take long before Sookie knew exactly who it was. She turned to Felicia's now steady boyfriend Alcied and handed him Russ saying.

"Take him and Adel upstairs and get Felicia on the way… don't stop, just go." I look at her stunned as she turns and say's.

"It's Jason." Jason? Fucking Jason, well your 18 years too late buddy… I have no idea how he is related to Sookie, they have a family resemblance but he has not aged well at all. I got up and headed towards him with Sookie, but before we could get to him Pam jumped him with Ninja like skills and speed. She was beating the shit out of him. I however was not going to stop her, better her than me because I would kill him. Sookie also just stood by with her arms crossed showing no sign of trying to help her brother. Finally Pam released him and hissed.

"What the fuck do you want? You piece of cum guzzling shit!"

"I…I… I made a mistake! I want to know my daughter, I have rights." She said wiping blood off of his brow and chin. Before Pam could answer I had him by the collar lifting him well off the ground and said.

"You missed your chance, it doesn't take anyone 18 years to recognize a mistake of that magnitude… get the fuck out of here and never come back. I will never let you hurt my Baby Doll again." He tried to struggle and said.

"Your Baby Doll! Like fuck she is my…." He was cut off by a tiny Prada clad foot before he could finish. I turned to see Felicia standing there with fire in her eyes. She let him quiet down before she spoke.

"You shut your mouth Jason, Eric is and has always been my Dad! He was there when I was sick, when I needed help, when I cried or was being a brat. He did all of the hard work! You can't expect to swoop in now that all of the hard work is done and try to be my Daddy. Thanks for the genetic code but you can get the fuck out because I have nothing to say to you; also you look like shit lay off the whiskey."

I looked at her stunned Pam, Sookie and Amelia were all crying at her words. I dropped Jason on the ground and Scooped up my Baby Doll and gave her a tight squeeze. This was the first time she ever called me Dad where she knew I could hear… it felt amazing. I squeezed her and when I released her I saw that Jason was gone and the guests were thinning out. Felicia leaned up and said.

"You really are my Dad; genetics have nothing to do with it… I love you."

"I love you too Baby Doll."

I finally felt it, my family was complete. Everything was right… suddenly allowing my family to grow and move on was not so terrifying anymore. Our family may be an odd group, but it's ours.


End file.
